Love consists in this, That two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
-Rilke ONCE MARRIED TWICE SHY
With the current divorce rate of 50% marriages in the U.S., this pro-active strategy focuses on the unique commonalities of a particular partnership to create a written understanding toward a better relationship. Together we will produce an agreement covering essential issues such as Financial Management, Parenting, Communication, Sexual and Sensual partners, Shared Responsibilities and Skills for a continued and loving friendship.
Every couple with the intention to either live together or get married needs to talk about both their explicit agreements and their implicit assumptions. The explicit agreements listed above are discussed and skills are taught to clarify and negotiate all issues toward the development of a satisfying and successful alliance. The implicit assumptions can cover every situation or misunderstanding that may occur in a partnership such as learned skills from their famly of origin, gender attitudes, personal biases and preferences, and variations in values.
In Proactive pre-marital mediation there is a progression of sessions and "homework" that takes into account past history. We will create a family of origin genogram, discuss different cultural behaviors, and work on the realities of prior marriages or significant long-term relationships, children, financial management, family and parenting values, religion, partnership goals together with individual goals within the context of the relationship. Skills to achieve these goals, such as communication, negotiation, the art of "fighting fair," are introduced to participants to intentionally create a solid and resilient partnership. Happy relationships and families happen with intention.
cheap hotel in ManchesterSessions can be conducted individually or together in order to flush out unrealistic expectations through self-examination, writing, and discussion. Finally a written agreement is produced which will cover many bases: marriage as a business arrangement, a loving friendship, a co-parenting unit, a life partnership. This agreement becomes a working document for the duration of the marriage and one that can be reviewed and amended on a yearly basis. This constant update can create a powerful tool to keep both the relationship and the partners on track.
Become a Success - Not a Statistic
Portugal hotelsIn any friendship we have the opportunity to expand our intelligence and compassion. As we grow we have changed needs, and if a pattern of trust has been established, with a "give and take" attitude, these needs can be accommodated. The goal is to keep the partnership dynamic not stagnate; to keep love alive and not robotic. We need not lose "who we are" and become "what we are" to one another. Jane and John are still the same people "who" met one another and decided to get married. In the fast pace of today's world, Jane and John can sometimes become "what" they are to one another - working mom and dad- and forget "who" they married.
Martin Buber wrote of the "I/Thou" concept in love; the essence of "tu versus vous," - "thou versus you." In order to stay in love we must cherish each other and when we regard each other as "thou" we maintain the essence of love and appreciation for the person with whom we have chosen to share our lives.
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