Bob Debates the Anti-Bob The Anti-Bob:Look at what my opponent has done. He has created his stoogeson the Left and the Right, and then positioned himself smack dab in the Americanbeer-guzzling, TV-watching, skirt-chasing middle, where he is sure to win allthe votes!On the Left is the wooden Al Gore, the alpha male "fighter", who is the scionof a political family that served the policy needs of Armand Hammer, themillionaire head of Occidental Petroleum and financier of the Communist Partyin the US. Al Gore is being dangled before the triadic jaws of organizedlabor, blacks, and women. They had better watch out before they getsplinters in their mouths! But meanwhile he buys their votes with publicoffers of more free government stuff. pai gow poker strategieOn the Right is the preppy puppet George W. Bush, the dim-witted inarticulateopponent of "bigacy", who is being dangled before the triadic jaws of big business, the Christian Right, and the anti-Clinton crowd. He buys theirvotes with promises of miniscule tax cuts, when his only agenda is to getthe Bush crowd back in power, so he can milk the Great American Taxpayer Cow.His goal is to ensure that lucrative government contracts get funneled tofriends of Bush! Behind the scenes, he buys votes with promised deals ofmore free government stuff. Meanwhile, Bob sits calmly in the middle, picking their pockets, and suckingin the Sex Vote all for himself. This is absolutely disgraceful! He wins nomatter who "wins"!
 Bob Responds:My worthy opponent is just jealous that his handlers didn't think up the Get-More-Sexcampaign. But it occurs to me what his main problem is: namely, he doesn'tbelieve in democracy! Offering more voters more and more free-governmentstuff is the American Way! Is not my opponent, the Anti-Bob, therefore un-American? He says I control both Gore and Bush. Is this not Conspiracy Theory? He takesapparent issue with my Get-More-Sex plan. Is he not therefore anti-sex? Is henot therefore just another frustrated, prudish old hypocrite who would send ouryoung people out to die for their country, but wouldn't let them live andf--- for their country?The American people know better than this. The American people know that aregular weekly program of orgasmic relaxation therapy in a safe, clean,government-run health-clinic-and-house-of-joy will do wonders for keepingtheir minds off the fact we are stealing most of their money! The Americanpeople know what they want! They don't expect to pay taxes and pay taxes andpay taxes, and never get any free government sex! Italia HotelesThose in the audience should listen carefully. My opponent, the Anti-Bob, wantsto take away your right to sex!
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